Monday, June 7, 2010

3 potential topics started and rejected

and nothing of any value forthcoming.

i am in  bit of a mood, i guess.
the dishes are sitting unattended, the house i am sure needs a little tidying, i have photos i need to print and there are 5 books i need to read...and yet i can not bring myself to do anything of these things. not like the first two are anything worth getting excited over.

i wish that i was that person who embraced the tedium of domesticity - and i am not being sarcastic or patronizing. i am really envious.
the details make the home and sometimes i feel like i am not quite there in terms of embracing my home right now.

i used to be.
oh the candles and the clean countertops and the matching towels in the powder room.
those were the days.
the weekly potlucks, the playgroups, the parties...i played the part of hostess with gusto and enthusiasm.
and i loved it:).
because a house is not really a home unless it is filled with friends.
now, i panic at the thought of any kind of fete preparation.
the details overwhelm me.

i have lost my party mojo.
that is a sad admission indeed...

a big old huge part of my identity was as the organizer, and i am realizing that that me is really not coming back any time soon. 
hell, i still owe my husband his 40th birthday party.
(i may make an exception for that one. the cake may have forty two and a half candles on it, but it is the thought that counts, right?).

how did austin powers get his mojo back?
anyone remember?

maybe i have to try that...

(until then, photos and a book it can wait a bit longer...)


Richard said...

I hate 'funks' too.

If you find your party-mojo amongst the dirty dishes later can you see if my photo-mojo is there too? ;)

Loukia said...

I used to be like that, too - before I had kids! I can't seem to stay on top of things now, though, as hard as I try! I will always make sure my kitchen is clean before I head off to bed - nothing in the sink, counters clean, dishwasher started or emptied... I also can't leave the house in the morning unless all the beds are made! :)

Andrea said...

When I think of home and my time growing up and what "home" means to me....I think of the friends that were around, the simple times at the pool and all of the summer activities and fireflies and frogs and motorcycles and spot light tag and things of that sort.

Not if my Mom kept the dishes clean or the counters wiped down. Which, she didn't. I don't either. I don't visit my friends to see a clean home. I visit my friends to visit my friends. To see them.

Our identities change and shift and are modified as we grow and learn who we are and travel along our paths. We just have to grow and remain comfy as the path twists and turns.

Once you do that? You'll have your mojo.