by my back.
i am sitting at my computer frustrated and sore today, having finally admitted defeat.
back in the spring, i hurt my back. this is not an unusual occurance for me, having thrown out my back seriously when holly was two. i would have episodes every couple of years and then recover quickly. The summer before we moved, i did it again while weeding the garden for our then for sale house. and, for the first time ever, i did not bounce back quickly or well. i survived the worst of it, pathetically crawling into the office of a massage therapist who finally gave me some relief, and managed to return to an almost normal state and stature.
then last spring, as i mentioned, i did it again. not in one dramatic event...just a little bit at a time until one day my back just gave out. of course, that was the same day that i got an email from dabble asking if i was free to travel to france to photograph.
off to the doctor i ran, medications and suggestions were obtained, and off i went on my grand adventure.
well, my back got worse.
but...
i am busy.
i have a little kid, who can afford to stop?
i have big kids - they have people to see, places to get.
i got another awesome offer from dabble to go to jamaica to photograph.
i started photographing for lux decor.
i went to parties.
i threw parties.
i had a vernissage.
i even shot a baby.
until
i couldn't.
this week, after one last party, i realized i was done.
i miss not being in pain.
i miss running ( i swear i do )
i miss playing on the floor with alex
i miss being able to walk around the mall without wincing
i miss being able to take a picture and not have to brace myself for the inevitable jarring shot of pain
i miss not being cranky
all. the. time.
so, this week i started to do something about it.
and, surprise, surprise...it is going to take time to fix.
i have messed up my axis pretty badly ( look! physio talk! ), having lovingly and irresponsibly nurtured the injury for a few months too long.
so here i sit, uncomfortably, but hopeful that i will soon be feeling much better.
but until then, can someone spin this feeling of uselessness into something positive? because i am feeling really old right now.
i am sitting at my computer frustrated and sore today, having finally admitted defeat.
back in the spring, i hurt my back. this is not an unusual occurance for me, having thrown out my back seriously when holly was two. i would have episodes every couple of years and then recover quickly. The summer before we moved, i did it again while weeding the garden for our then for sale house. and, for the first time ever, i did not bounce back quickly or well. i survived the worst of it, pathetically crawling into the office of a massage therapist who finally gave me some relief, and managed to return to an almost normal state and stature.
then last spring, as i mentioned, i did it again. not in one dramatic event...just a little bit at a time until one day my back just gave out. of course, that was the same day that i got an email from dabble asking if i was free to travel to france to photograph.
off to the doctor i ran, medications and suggestions were obtained, and off i went on my grand adventure.
well, my back got worse.
but...
i am busy.
i have a little kid, who can afford to stop?
i have big kids - they have people to see, places to get.
i got another awesome offer from dabble to go to jamaica to photograph.
i started photographing for lux decor.
i went to parties.
i threw parties.
i had a vernissage.
i even shot a baby.
until
i couldn't.
this week, after one last party, i realized i was done.
i miss not being in pain.
i miss running ( i swear i do )
i miss playing on the floor with alex
i miss being able to walk around the mall without wincing
i miss being able to take a picture and not have to brace myself for the inevitable jarring shot of pain
i miss not being cranky
all. the. time.
so, this week i started to do something about it.
and, surprise, surprise...it is going to take time to fix.
i have messed up my axis pretty badly ( look! physio talk! ), having lovingly and irresponsibly nurtured the injury for a few months too long.
so here i sit, uncomfortably, but hopeful that i will soon be feeling much better.
but until then, can someone spin this feeling of uselessness into something positive? because i am feeling really old right now.
