Tuesday, October 25, 2011
I over reacted
Well, that is what you told your kid. Who told my kid.
You know, the new kid your kid was mean texting?
You know, your kid I tried to speak to you about nicely? Four times? The emails you finally responded to only because I cc'd my husband on them?
The kid I was trying to have stop bothering my kid since they are in the same class and sports team?
The kid my daughter just wanted so badly to be friends with.
But you are wrong.
I did not over react.
You under parented.
You had all the tools and information in your hands to create a moment in time where you could impact your kid...and you blew it.
Instead of helping your child, because that is what they are at 12, become a better person, you sluffed off the responsibility you acquired when you became a parent.
You took the easy "it is not my kid...I have no time for this...girls will be girls...all girls are bitches, expect it..." route and now you have taught your daughter that being mean is okay.
Just don't do it to this kid again, because her mom over reacts.
But I think you have the wrong choice of words going on.
You meant "parents", right?
As in "Don't do it again to that kid because her mom parents properly".
You meant as in "she gives her kid the tools to respond appropriately to inappropriate behavior"?
You meant as in "she helps her kid develop the backbone and self assuredness to stand up and not be a bystander even when it results in the "clique" then turning against her"?
You meant as in "she makes sure her kid trusts her enough to share the embarrassing cruelty kids can dish out, without the fear of being told to suck it up"?
You meant as in "she does not protect her kid from the sad stories of what happens to kids who hide the pain"?
I over reacted.
But in my world?
I call it parenting.
And while I over react, according to you through your daughter to my daughter...
You under parent.
A lot. And often.
So, while my kid has moved on and decided to accept your daughter's apology ( which you did not require, in your sparsely worded response to my images of your daughter's words captured on a phone...but rather one she offered up in a brilliant flash of maturity), you remain the same.
Because today, four weeks after the first text, you have now forbidden our kids to work together on a project they were excited about. With your girl letting my girl know by a note passed in class. Because you are "mad" at my kid "for what she did".
And once again tonight I am parenting my kid through the mis-steps of your under parenting.
And thinking about how awesome it would be if you just did the same.
Because our girls?
They learn from watching us.
And how we react.
And right now, one of us is over reacting.